My sweet Mary, I remember taking this photo of you and Katie together like it was yesterday. It was taken July 7, 2019 at a Florence church. We had so many good moments. We just ran out of time for more. It’s been a very long year since I last saw you. A year since I’ve heard your voice, held your hand, kissed your lips, touched you, and of course, yes, shared our passion. There’s nothing about you I don’t miss. Cancer is such a thief. However, Katie and I are still doing really good. I talk with our kids often and they’re all doing great. So are the grandkids, and that beautiful sweet great grandchild. Even Gypsi still wags her tail! We’re still faithful to the Lord, serving and trusting in Him. I’m occasionally drawn to peek into the kids classroom at church and I notice that they are doing so good and growing!
On this anniversary of your passing, Katie and I have planned to go to the Ripley’s Aquarium at the beach to see the Animal Crossing display. It’s only there for a limited time. We are also gonna hit up the candy store to get some sweets! We wanted to do something fun and special this day in your honor. Hopefully we can venture out to the sand and search for that special seashell too, just like you and her have always enjoyed doing, and in hopes that we find one just right to place on your Urn. That’s her idea! I hope so. I might try to spread some of your ashes there too. I know you would like that idea. You can listen to the waves….
Looking back, I thought a lot about the note I wrote for mine and Mary’s 35th wedding anniversary. It’s a note I wrote for her and read aloud at our anniversary celebration and vow renewal that I surprised her with in 2012. It was found it in her belongings. We had such a big gathering and so much fun that day. This anniversary writing today is much different however. It’s been one year without her as of July 11th. 2024. Ever so often I repeat her sayings, “oodles, goodles, and gobs” and “I love you like a rock all day”. Katie mentions her often. We still have some of our routines that we had before. Life has changed a lot without her. There’s a quiet, where once it was filled with her happy voice in the house, especially when she was talking on the phone to one of our children. So, even so, Katie and I continue moving forward faithfully with this life molding us differently than we’ve ever known, and taking part of Mary with us as we do. She impacted more lives than she ever knew. Time will tell with fruit from the seeds she planted. She was the most unselfish person with a natural concern for children. She loved teaching when she did. She was gifted in many ways. She always had a quick and logical solution in any circumstance if a problem arose. She was some kind of wonderful.
Moreover, those who have lost a loved ones or experienced a loss of love, can understand the burden of brokenness that grief lays on you. I could not have made it this year, this far, this blessed, without those who reached out to me offering comfort and encouragement after losing Mary last year. And especially as her illness progressed. Whether it was visits, Jordan River discussions, text messages, encouraging calls and cards, or the coffee bean adventure and really long meaningful conversations, from my special “cheerleader,” all the blessings consoled me. The same goes for being surrounded in a Griefshare group, mainly for the fellowship and counsel from each other noting we all had a common grief-loss. It just helped to understand what was going on and I was not isolated in it.. and hopefully nor were the others.
Most assuredly though, while I was depending on God, the creator of the universe, the maker of all things, He orchestrated all his providence and cared enough about me to also walk with me in my grief and mold me….Mary depended on Him and remained faithful until her life was no more here, and began a new life in eternity. I can assure you, that he is the One that will help you when you’re in deep waters. He will be your shelter when storms come rolling in. He is faithful and will never ever abandon or leave you as long as you remain faithful. He has never left me. He is my hope. He is my Saviour. He can be yours too.
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness
Broadcasting Hope 