When we lose someone it breaks us into pieces. We fall apart and crumble to the floor. We just want the fog to clear and try our best to be restored to some sort of normal. As time begins to move along, we still want the one we lost with us. We cry out to them, and to God just longing for a presence or anything that would bring some comfort to our souls. Somehow we move forward.
I lost my wife almost eight months ago. All this time, I knew she was with our Saviour because she was a faithful believer and trusted in Jesus. I’m not gonna check off all the boxes of things she did to gain her salvation. The bible doesn’t teach that. But, she did all those wonderful things because of her salvation and trust in Jesus. When I lost her, I too, crumbled to the floor in my grief. It has become easier for me now as I find myself moving forward and finding ways to serve others as Christ would have me do. Early on in my loss, there were times when I searched for her in everything I found in our home. I looked for notes, letters, collectables, computer files, her handwriting, her soap, anything, just to find a glimpse of her.
This whole journey, as I have grown closer to God through this, I have often wondered if God would send a message to her. I have sent several, not knowing if she got them. That’s a mystery that we all will never know until we arrive into eternity. If she had memory of me now, she would have memory of the loss of her family life and that would be sad for her. So, no tears in Heaven.
I do have Blessed Assurance. Again, through my entire journey in this loss I have longed for Mary. I have longed to know she was safe because I’m not with her anymore. I was with her for forty six years and we were seldom separated from one another. So it’s only natural that I seek assurance that she is ok. That she is safe and sound. That she is where she needs to be finding comfort and joy. This evening I got my answer.
Earlier this afternoon, I’m out back in devotion reading chapters 1-4 of Hebrews which denotes His loves and faithfulness for all of us and how we should remain faithful. Later this evening while sitting out back, again I began to think about Mary. I looked around at the different chairs and pictured her in each one and remembered a few conversations we had out there. Remembering her voice and just the memory of her presence and the love I had for her. Also in that moment, I asked God for something that I had asked for before, that up until this point He had been silent. I began a conversation of how I just wanted some kind of reassurance that she was ok and that she was in his presence. I looked at the tree out back that had a hole that was gathering spot for birds and squirrels alike. I asked the Father that if he would just allow a red bird to land there just to let me know she is ok, then I can happily move forward. I said, just like Gideon did with the rugs and just like Peter did when knocking on the door after being freed from the chains. Then I began to discuss with Him which ministries that I would be best to serve Him in. Not as in the past with only knowledge of Him and what he would be pleased with, but to be spiritually led by Him into a ministry that I am best qualified and would bring him glory in.
It was at that very moment, maybe two minutes later, that a female red bird came to that very tree hole spot for just a moment and then flew away. I was in awe. I was touched. I broke down with tears of joy and praised His name, because God had just answered me in a way that I could not deny nor say was a coincidence. Never. The very thing I had asked for was answered, He comforted me, and Mary is safe. No birds were hoping around. No birds were flying around. It was their roosting time. I know, because it was getting late and being in awe, I looked at my phone to see the exact time, and it was 6:17p.m. and it was dusk. Some will nay-say, and that’s ok. God knows what I was praying for, He would not allow me to be mislead or be deceived. He answered my prayer. Trust in his name where there is HOPE. God answers prayer.
Broadcasting Hope 