My buddy pointed to a name on the list. Names on the bulletin at the memorial service I attended recently. It was my wife’s name. I kinda smiled and replied, “she made the list”. As if it were an accomplishment, a goal, or a part she had auditioned for in a play, and she had finally gotten the part. I immediately realized what I had said, and my heart just broke inside. She had made the list, but not what she planned on, and not what I wanted to read a week before Christmas. A “normal” Christmas would have her making a list of our Christmas eve dinner items, checking names for gifts, doubling down on Santa’s gift list for Katie and making sure the stocking items didn’t get left out.
Mary may not have planned on making the list this night, but she did however, plan for a list. A list for those who would enter into heaven’s gate and where names were written in the book of life. She knew what the real purpose of Christmas was all about. She knew it was about celebrating the birth of our Savior Jesus. She also enjoyed decorating the house with garland, candy filled boots, nostalgic children pictures hanging from Christmas’s past, tree decorating, outside lights, and Christmas eve gathering with the kids, and those sleepy eyed Christmas mornings. She would definitely be wearing a Christmas sweater. She enjoyed Christmas time. She loved getting her favorite pair of Dearborn house slippers every year, and we loved getting them for her too. Memories I will continue to hold close.
Moving forward without the one you love is challenging to anyone. I have actually made great progress and healing well with this thing called grief. Griefshare programs are available and helpful in so many ways, and you get to meet some of the greatest people that are going through much of the same experience as you. I highly encourage it to anyone who has recently, or not so recently lost someone and are struggling in any amount with a loss.
What a blessing last night as I attended a memorial. The speaker, brother Frankie, made several good points at the memorial service last night. He and his wife have years of experience with hospice and have suffered a loss of their own. They understand. I didn’t take any notes, but I’m pretty sure I’m in line with these suggestions on getting through your grief. Get rest, nap if you need to. Take care of yourself and eat, and eat healthy. Watch your health numbers. See your doctor. Exercise. It’s good for you mentally and physically. Trust in a friend who will walk with you and encourage you through your walk in grief. Most importantly is to trust in God to handle the big stuff that’s troubling you. Lean into the grief and don’t try to run from it. It will find you again if you do. Cry when you need to. Don’t apologize for it. Write, journal, record, talk, share, shout, get mad at God if you need to (He understands) ..whatever you need to do to release your feelings. Just don’t get destructive or harmful in any way. That’s when you need to seek professional help. Let someone know you are having an extremely hard time with your feelings of loss, and especially if you’re having unhealthy or harmful feelings. Grief is hard, but it gets better. Tears may still fall, but not as often. Memories of those we love will never leave…
It will be Christmas soon. If I could write a list of what I wanted for Christmas, I’m sure you don’t have to guess what would be at the top of my list. Ole Santa can’t bring her back though, and I wouldn’t wish my sweet Mary back into this dark broken world anyway. I’ll make me a list and I’ll check it more than twice. It’ll start with me, looking into the mirror and making sure I’m doing God’s will in my life. There’s a list of Ten Commandments that are some good guidelines to keep. Problem is, we just can’t keep all those and we’re condemned and under the curse of the Law. That’s why Jesus died on the cross. To free us from death and the curse of the Law that brings it. We have freedom now in Him. Not to keep sinning because were under grace, but to live for God and to do his will. I don’t know about you, but I want to be in the list of names written in the book of life. When I stand before God, I want to hear “welcome home, you good and faithful servant”. This Christmas, as we remember the birth of Jesus, remember he also died and was resurrected so we could live forever. So make sure that you have a life dedicated to reading God’s word and applying it to your life written down on a list. One day you will make another list, just like Mary did. I’ll be making sure I do the same. Merry Christmas!
There is always HOPE…
"May your unfailing love be with us Lord, even as we put our hope in you." Psalms 33:22
Broadcasting Hope 